I moved! Got my Internet Back!

You all know that I moved from Las Vegas last week, I was so sad to go, I had withdrawals all day today wanting to go to crochet group today! I miss everyone so much!

It is so beautiful here, green trees and hills, cows and sheep, and quiet! Except the nightmare of my house with hundreds of unpacked boxes, half unpacked boxes and wishing it would all just go away!

Poor Bubby, he was ok most of the trip except for the part where he tried to strangle himself in Arizona as I was driving through a gorge with no place to stop....so the experiment with not putting him in a cat carrier ended with him in the cat carrier for the rest of the trip. But he didn't really meow much and I had the top of the carrier open so I could pet him most of the trip so he was as happy as being in a cat carrier, sitting on a stinky towel with a/c blowing in your face as he could be. When we got here OMG did he stink! So after two days in the truck he was dumped in the bathtub and drowned with water and soap, he was soooooo happy....not, my mom said he sounded like I was trying to murder him he was meowing so loud and pitiful.

After packing up and now unpacking my things I have learned several things, most of my worldly belongings consist of art supplies, computer equipment, and miniature bottles of perfume. I have no idea why it was completely necessary for me to pack and hold onto a note book with like 5 pages left in it, and why the cable gremlin stole my power supply cord to my external hard drive and heat sink for my laptop! How can I have lost it, it was in my room, I packed my room, there is nothing left in my room and it is now no where in any boxes now moved..../sigh. Oh and if I have to eat out one more time I'm going to yack....living on restaurant food is just gut rot and why can't Stop and Rob's make soda cups that fit into car drink holders?

Knitting Nightmare...

So as my friends know I'm knitting a Harry Potter scarf, Gryffindor of course =) As it happens Gryffindor colors are Maroon and Gold, the same as my High School colors! Last night I was knitting away for a few hours watching T.V. and and obviously staring at the scarf and colors. So I go to bed and apparently my scarfs colors triggered some deep repressed Freudian reaction in my unconscious psyche because I had a dream I was back in High School...and it was not a great period of fun in my life. See, like now I was a nerd, habits die hard I guess and well as you all know shy, nice nerds walk around with a "Torture Me Please!" sign tattooed on our foreheads. As you can guess I not exactly super athletic as I have two left feet and I'm a walking accident waiting to kill myself, so Gym class was not a great class for me. This one girl, I can't remember her name, was like a moth to my candle, she zoned in on me for easy pickings in the locker room every day for the sad boost in her own ego at the expense my mine (by the way I completely shamed her in front of all her friends one day in the locker room so bad she left me alone for the rest of my high school existance, I'm nice but I have a tolerance limit and it's not pretty if you cross it =) . Any way I dreamed she stole all my clothes and made me walk naked around school all day, everyone staring and giggling at me. What is worse is that this guy I had a major crush on at the time (he turned out by the way to be a dork, seemed he liked me too but as his obnoxious friends hated me because I would not put up with their annoying stunts, he could not ask me out because apparently he had no spine or self determination...thank you for leaving me alone =) ), kept throwing tooth picks at me dipped in glue, (like his furry little friends did to me in real life). Ok, that was way too much a flash back. I woke up thinking wow where in the world did this come from till it dawned on me I was staring at my High School colors all night, duh....

Why can't I have a dream I'm naked and .... (Censor, must remember to keep inner monologue private....) =)

Harry Potter Fan Club (the adults who don't like to admit they belong)

Up until very recently I really didn't understand just how many adults really like the Harry Potter books and movie. I have been given contemptuous looks by many other adults who when they find out I read the books or like the movies look at me like I'm some kind of immature child, not that I really cared for their opinion anyway. Yes I might be 30+ =P but who says you have to stop liking kids stuff anyway? My friends who know me well know I love SpongeBob and Animaniacs. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, GOT IT? =P

The movie version of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix just came out. I didn't go opening night but waited till the middle of the day the next day. I had resigned myself to the fact that there would be hoards of screaming kids and packs of annoying teenagers in the theater but went anyway. So I get my ticket and my Pepsi and popcorn and go to the theater. What I saw shocked me. The theater was pretty packed with only a few seats left....and there was not one kid or teenager to be found. The entire theater was full of adults! So, after seeing this I must assume this was not a freak happening. Sadly, I think there are more adult Harry Potter fans who don't like to admit that they are. Adults are so stupid sometimes....

Oh and I have a confession to make to all my friends...please don't hit me when you find out... Yes I was in LA the day the movie premiered and I was in LA when the cast put their hand and wand prints into the cement on the walk of fame...I just didn't know it lol. Not that I would have gone down there with thousands of nutty fans mind you but I have a friend or two who after reading this will have a melt down....lol.

Knit snobs and the crocheters who like to provoke them

I'm in LA over the weekend and I'm so excited to be in a new geographical location with new yarn stores to drool in and make inappropriate yarn purchases. Little did I know that there is some kind of unwritten and unpublished yarn law in LA that states you cannot run a yarn store on Sunday or Monday, or it could be that I'm now so indoctrinated into the 24 hour Vegas life style that I fail to realized that stores in other parts of the world actually close and have business hours. Out of a list of about 24 yarn and bead stores in the surrounding area of my hotel ...only one was open on Sunday or Monday. I will spare the reader the name of the store but as most crocheters know the proprietors of small business yarn stores tend to be Knit Snobs...and I was not disappointed. As I approached the doors to enter I resolved myself to take the high road and openly and proudly proclaim my status as a crocheter, and not be ashamed of my hook. The proprietors welcomed me warmly because as we all know most yarn shops struggle with sales when faced with internet competition but know they have an edge because of fiber freaks affinity to first fondle the yarn they want to buy. They asked me if they could help me and what it was I was thinking of making. At this point I took the low road and decided to test their tolerance and loudly proclaimed I was looking for some really nice and expensive yarn to make granny squares out of you know in...CROCHET...Oh the look of horror that past over their faces...ROFL. I have never before beheld my power at rendering others speechless, it was pretty funny. I had visions that they were pressing some silent alarm, in utter panic, under the cash register that was making a wild and loud alarm some place deep inside world knitting headquarters. But nobody came and locked me in a room and forced me to watch knitting instructions 24/7 for a week so I assumed my cash was ok with them and continued shopping. Neither one of them said a word to me for a long while, they just kept staring at me like a six legged goat every where I went and I was having fun at their expense.

I decided I was having enough fun at provoking knitters so I asked them about they yarn I really came in to buy, some Harry Potter colors for a house scarf I wanted to KNIT. I saw all the joy return to their faces and they helpfully pointed out some nice colors for me in the fiber I was looking for. I then thought they were going to die of happiness when I asked for some self stripping yarn because I wanted to learn how to knit socks.

Knitters are so funny....its so fun to provoke them....lol. I'm a bad girl I know but oh well, when have I behaved in the past?

=P

Happy Divorce To Me

This is a little late to post but I was granted my divorce on the 3rd of July! "...everybody dance now...." So on the morning of the 3rd I was in the bathroom and it dawned on me I officially got to join the family "club" that day....yes I have followed in a hallowed family tradition of broken marriages. What the heck was wrong with me up till now, can't tell you. Seems everyone else in my family has known to kick the spouse to the curb when things didn't work out, I apparently was naive in thinking that I could some how invoke a miracle and make a Prince out of a Horses Ass. Ok so there was a time I did love X but you know that seems to have magically disappeared when he thought to dip his wick in other places or the other assorted charming behaviors he indulged himself in over the years that made me cry on a daily basis. Oh and to make things even more special I shared a court room with a man who was getting divorced and guess what his name was...yep the same as X's /Sigh. You know I'm so excited to get a default divorce and lucky enough that the afore mentioned parasite did not have to be in the room but then someone else with his name was there and ....ewwwwww. If some poor guy in the future asks me out and has the misfortune to have X's name he will just have to deal with being called Steve or something because just hearing X's name now fills me with the creeps /sigh.

I did find one thing amusing, as I was leaving the courthouse some guy had written all over his car...."JUST DIVORCED" like they do to cars when you get married. It also had references to "bitch" and other colorful four letter words on the window but I just interchanged them with "bastard" and all was good in my mind. I'm kidding...really, I just understood the elation of getting rid of someone from your life who's main drive was to make you cry and think up of new and inventive ways to hurt you.

So your thinking, wow she really does not like X....ummmm yeah and? I don't hate him...really I feel nothing, taken me a while but nope (really not angry at him, I know some how some place Karma will take care of him for me =) ). Didn't cry at the divorce proceeding (except when I was asking the judge for protective measures, and for damn good reasons) was not upset, was pretty proud of myself that he does not upset me anymore and I feel good about moving on and meeting NICE men. All this does not mean I like him or anything just find it amusing to berate his memory, reminds me of what I don't like in men so maybe next time I pick someone a heck of a lot nicer, someone who deserves me, knows how to treat me with respect =) I know guys like that are out there, just have to find them =) and I'm ready to move on.

To My Dear Bitch Arily

Instillation art by Dan Flavin at the LA art museum entitled "To My Dear Bitch Arily."

I went on a little mini vacation this past weekend to LA to go to a friends wedding and have some fun. The wedding was pretty and tasteful and optimistic that the two in question will be happy, at least till what married really means and they look at each over corn flakes in the morning and argue about leaving the toilet seat up or down for the 500th time.

After the wedding my mom and I hit the town for a few days to have fun, and one of the places we went was downtown to the museum complex. In one building, many of Dan Flavin's art pieces were displayed, which is all modern and have to say not eyebrow raising. Flavin's art comprises of light bulbs and florecent light tubes....lol. I love art and I'm very open minded but I'm not a huge fan of Modern Art and found his pieces more amusing for their titles than their supposed artistic merit. The instillation above is entitled "To My Dear Bitch Arily." At the time when we were walking around I found this highly amusing considering most of his work is entitled "untitled." Ok I understand coming up with a title for for light bulbs coming out of the wall is to say the least challenging but come on it does not take that much effort to come up with something to call it. Seriously, the instillation was like three floors of light bulbs...my mom and I were scratching our heads thinking what the hell is this...how is this art and how and why does it merit three entire floors of a building? I was glad that was not the only building our entry fee got us into, at least in the other buildings I got to see a bunch of Rembrants, Monets, Renoir, ect...that is what I call art!

So back to the Bitch Arily....Having no idea what the artist was about or his work I just assumed some woman broke his heart and he was miffed at her for making him 'blue' and titled the work accordingly. What an idiot I was! It was only till I got home did I find out in a Google search that he was very fond of his female Golden Retriever when he was alive. I'm not quite sure how a hall with blue light tubes inspired him to think about a tribute to his dog but then I was inspired to knit my cat a scarf so who am I to talk =P

I think I will cover a wad of ABC gum with lint and title it "I love you," I'm sure I can score a floor with that in some museum.....but I might have to die tragic before my genius is discovered...so if you ever see my gum next time you go to a museum you can say..."I knew Jamie in her early art years..." =P