I have been doing nothing productive.../sigh

Well, it has been a while since I posted and what pray tell have I been up to....ummmm....nothing. Thats right, work, school, sleep and repeat. How fun for moi. Not really. I have found one new past time....watching a cute guys video blog about masturbating cats, dogs who poo green*, and a guy who likes to recite Brittany Spears lyrics...you guessed it, cutewithchris.com . If you have not seen this, please do....it makes me laugh my butt off. You will have to see it to really understand why I find this so funny at 2am when I get off work....BECAUSE I HAVE NO LIFE. Ok, there I said it.


*Disclaimer, I take no responsibility if green dog poo offends you.

Willy Cozy?....lol

And I quote, "....Yarn Porn." Good to know the Las Vegas Hookers are still all about sex, sex, sex even if I'm not there to start the conversation, and it was printed in the newspaper....priceless. And who among you is making the "Willy Cozy"....lol, I swear reading the newspaper article about you guys was like being right back in the group....I then thought omg the Vegas Vally is going to get the wrong impression about the group with the "yarn porn" and "Willy Cozy," but then thought....nope not a misrepresentation, in fact it is a tame representation =P. The news article was hysterical, I laughed my ass off reading it. I hope you guys get more members from the article but hope they are as....hummmmm "open minded" as you all are =). Ha Ha. I can only imagine the reporter sitting there listening to the conversation and going omg this is gold....lol.

Good luck with the sex documentation....lol. Cry....I want to go to crochet night.... Sadly no yarn porn going on here.... and no sex to documentation =P though I do understand the plight of everyone wanting to use you as a binky sweatshop, but at least in my case the requests are nill till I get my degree done. I simply don't have the time with work and school, but if only I could find a job were I could crochet at and not get in trouble and I would be in heaven. I guess I will keep playing the Powerball and cross my fingers, /drool....think of all the yarn porn a Powerball winning ticket would buy....

Oh and if I do get prego someday I will document it for you all and I will expect binkies.... =) Just don't grow too old waiting for a miracle to happen....ROFL.

Miss you all and fondly thinking of sex, sex, sex....

OMG Dumbledore is Gay....lol.

Ok, well, I'm not that shocked at all. I pretty much assumed it when I was reading the books, especially when Dumbledore was talking a lot about his childhood and his "friend." I just think it is amusing, now all the right wing Book Burners, Thought Nazi's and Faux Christian nuts will have something new to fuel their hate for free speech and human rights....lol. I love it when authors miff off the crazies, they make themselves look even worse with very little effort.

Then again.....

Well, maybe the nuts are not that off base the books do contain some pretty horrible messages. If you sit and think about it, they actively promote controversial and society damaging actions such as: acceptance, love, good triumphing over evil, persistence and determination, respect, teamwork, selflessness, empathy, charity...just to name a few....wow no wonder "moralistic" people hate them so much, our whole society will go to Hell if kids learn these things!

So.....

If you hate to treat people with love, humor, respect and justice then burn as many copies as you can and God forbid don't let your kids read them, who the Hell knows what kind of adult they might turn into..../shudder. =P

My name is Strawbeary and I'm a Yarn Pornaholic

My name is Strawbeary and I'm a Yarn Pornaholic. I have to confess I'm having withdrawals as I have not touched, rubbed, fondled or inappropriately caressed yarn since my Harry Potter Scarf was finished. /CRY. I have not knitted or crocheted since then either. Hopefully with my new job I will have time as I will have more structure and /gasp... wont be sleeping a 24 hour shift off.

I did buy an obscene amount of yarn though...lol. Michaels had an awesome $1.00 bin I shamelessly grabbed all I could of not too long ago and it's really good stuff that goes for $5 or more dollars normally.


See I'm not even there in Stripper Land and I still allude to sex, sex, sex =P I'm still a Las Vegas Hooker, I just have more territory to work ;P. Thanks to Nobody =P I have my stripper/porn name now.....Princess Sizzle Glitter.....ROFL. It is killing me not to have a crochet meeting to go to!!!!!!! I have all this double entendre in me and nobody to share it with....ROFL.

Hugs everyone!!!!

Sir Percy is single again...

Well Sir Percy could not behave himself! I know now of many people who can keep male Betta fish with other fish but Sir Percy is not one of them. I have my sisters old 30 gallon tank set up in my family room and Marie Antoinette and Queen Elizabeth the I are now residing there. Sadly Eleanor of Aquitaine went to fishy heaven a day and a half after she came home but she will soon be resurrected once I go to Petsmart one of these days....lol. Sadly I have to report that Marie Antoinette was prego for the past month (Platy fish are live bearing fish) but that she must have been under too much stress in her tank before her move to the huge one and she won't be having babies (if they are too stressed they will abort the babies and reabsorb them). But as Platy fish are sex happy no doubt she will be prego in no time (Platys can mate and store sperm for up to two years and have babies off of one "meeting" for that whole time!).

I swear to God I'm still alive =P

Wow I've been A.W.O.L again but with good reason. I started my new job this last Monday and have been in training and my math class started this week.....just an F.Y.I, my mind is mush.

When I first moved here I got a job as a Personal Care Attendant at a non profit residential home for adults with Traumatic Brain Injury's. It was a good job but I was sort of lied to at my job interview about my hours, and some other important matter pertaining to the job. I also was happy to get work but this job was 25 miles away and over a mountain pass, and where I live is not a great place to drive in the winter for obvious reasons. So after about a month of working 12 hour shifts with no breaks or lunch, 12 hour shifts where I got to go home for 3 hours and then come back to work for another 12 and working days, mids and graveyard all in one week several times a week in messed up combinations....I looked for another job....big surprise. This Monday I started a job as a Treatment Aid at the local state run Chemical Dependency Hospital....and it is a State Job with full benefits (which I didn't get working 40+ at the other job) set work hours and days, only 2 miles from my house and above average salary for where I now live. I'm so much happier now!

I'm learning a lot about how recovery works for addicts/alcoholics and why people end up that way. Just in this last week I have learned so many things especially about why "The Parasite" was the way he was, how addicted he was to certain things, and insights into mental illness (including his) and why and how it co-occurs with addiction. This by no means implys I forgive him for what he did to me but I really understand now just how sick he was (and sure that he still is) and that no matter what I did there was no way he was going to get help, change or what ever. Just in the last week an enormous burden of guilt for the mess my former marriage was in seemed to lift off me. I feel really sorry for him now, not that I forgive him, but for the fact that he is a product of his choices, and nothing I did or could have done would have changed him without his going for real intensive help. In a way though I feel sort of stupid now for all the effort and pain I caused myself beating a dead horse in trying to get him to ask for help and wanting so hard to make things right. I was not the person to make things right, he was and he chose not to. Though I guess hind sight is 20/20 and I'm not a bad person for truly loving someone and trying to get them get help, if I didn't I would not be the empathic and caring person I hope that I am and others perceive me to be. It's just that you can't make people want to change or to treat you better, either the do or they will and if they won't then I will take my love and compassion someplace where it will be appreciated.

It has been a really hard month for me, so many things happened this time of year....perpetrated by You Know Who. I have been having Night Terrors and other scary sleep problems for the past few weeks. I know it will pass by the end of next month and hope with the passing of time that it won't haunt me as much as it does now. I was really proud of myself! I just realized that my former wedding anniversary was two days ago....I didn't even think about it when I was writing the date on like a 1000 pieces of paper at work....it only just now as I'm typing this hit me...ROFL. I think that is pretty good in spite of all things! Wow I'm sitting here thinking of the past few years and what a mess and how much of a mess I was and how happy I am now. Actually it's making me kind of upset though in a way. I keep thinking back to how low and depressed I was, how scared of him and what would happen to me, of some of the things that almost happened and have to say it is pretty scary looking at it from this end. Working with the people that I now do I really feel sort of sorry for them that they fell into drugs and booze, I can really see how someone can fall into it when things are wrong in their life. I really do have a new found appreciation, not that I never have, of my parents and family. Growing up sometimes you think your parents are these horribly unfeeling people who only exist to make your life miserable, then when you grow up all the love (for that is what it was they were teaching you and showing you) and guidance to give you the tools and strength to deal with life when it is a bowl of cherry pits and to keep you from doing things you shouldn't. That is not to say that people who fall into addiction were never loved, many were but that genetics has a part in making you prone to addiction, I just know for me my family and their love made all the difference in my life during the dark times of the past few years and I know it helped me to stay away from things that would have hurt me more and hurt them as well. That is why I feel sorry/pity for You know Who, but I'm glad I feel happier for myself .

Sir Percy's Harem

Picture coming soon....camera's battery is dead at the moment...lol.


Sir Percy is a lucky fish...he now lives with three women...lol. Today I went to PETCO and was looking at the fish and the guy who works in the fish department asked me if he could help me. I didn't think you could have other fish with Betta's, and it seems I was wrong. You can have other fish in a tank with a Betta provided you observe a few rules....

{Oh and I learned how to "sex" fish, male from female.....ROFL. I asked the guy, "What do you do peek under a fin? Is that how you tell?" and apparently that is what you do....let's just say male fish have an "extra" tiny fin and leave it at that....lol.}

1.) No other male fish. Seems male Betta fish can't get along with other male Betta's or for that matter, male fish of other species. No comment...hehe (and there is one I could make, but I'm behaving myself =P ).

2.) The female fish can't be the same color as the Betta they will be shacking up with. Seems male Betta's have boy hormone problems...lol...again no comment. =)

3.) The other fish can't have large or flaring tails, they have to be short and narrow. Yeah....I not going to touch that one...but I could...ROFL.

So I got three Platy fish to keep Percy company. Two are yellow and redish and they are named Elenor of Aquitaine and Queen Elizabeth I. The other one is silver with sapphire polka dots starting in the middle and going to the tail, her name is Marie Antoinette. Marie, as it turns out, is 'special'....lol. She spends all of her time darting up and down the side of the tank and acting quite neurotic and mental. Maybe they make a liquid Thorazine for fish?

And what does Sir Percy think of his new tank mates? He checked them all out like any guy would and then spends his time strutting around the tank showing off his fins..../sigh, even male fish are predictable...lol. He has not attacked the other fish, he just finds them interesting and behaves himself....for now. Now if I wake up in the middle of the night and he is playing mood music and inappropriately flaring his 'fin' then I've got problems. Nobody is getting sex in my house if I don't have a 'friend' to have some with!!!!! =P Yeah like that will happen any time soon.

Sir Percy seems to like Marie Antoinette the most, he follows her around a bit and stares at her a lot, don't know what the attraction is....maybe he just likes high strung women?

I also got Percy and his harem a new tank and he seems to like this one a lot better than the old one. He just sat in the corner of the old one or behind the filter and did nothing. In this one he swims around and seems much happier.

I now have two children!

Everyone, please meet my new son...... Sir Percy Blakeney! Ok, so my new son is a fish....and my other son is a cat, picky...picky, someday I will have a human child but until then my kids have fur and scales.

So, by now you are thinking....Sir Percy Blakeney, wow nice name Jamie..../rolling eyes. For thoes you who are NOT English majors, Sir Percy Blakeney is Barroness Emmuska Orczy's hero in her novel....."The Scarlet Pimpernel," a dashing and handsome English aristocrat who pretends to be nothing more than a fop at home but secretly he is the disguised hero who risks his life to rescue people across the channel in Revolutionary France from the relentless blade of the guillotine! A fish with a huge red tail.....Scarlet Pimpernel.....get it......ok, so I like naming my pets after literary characters! =P You would too if you were an English Geek. So far Percy likes to try and hide behind the filter in his tank where I can't see him. Well, it is his first day in his new home but his tank is much better than the small plastic cup he used to call home up till this afternoon. As Fall is here, I need to get him a small heat light for the tank so he will not be too cold.

I have been AWOL and seem to have eluded my knitting stalkers.....

If you can't tell I have been AWOL from this blog for a while....I moved, unpacked, had to look for a job so I would not be an unemployed bum, and ..... oh yes been knitting my brains out finishing my Harry Potter Gryffindor House Scarf! It is finished and I'm really proud of myself. This is my second knit project aside from the "cat scarf" I did, oh about almost three years ago now. The scarf was knitted in the round using Plymouth Encore yarn in 0999 (about 5 -6 skeins...I lol lost count) and 1014 and just shy of one skein on size 9 bamboo circle needles. The yarn called for size 8 but 9's were all I could find in Vegas. I then crocheted a border/binding on the ends so they would not roll up as stockinette annoyingly will.

I pretty much started this Scarf the night of the book release for the last (/cry) Harry Potter book party at Borders. Borders being the rat bastards that they were I could not get a book that night but got up at the crack of dawn and ran to Walmart the next day when I discovered that Amazon.com being the rat bastards that they are were NOT going to deliver my book the day of the release as they promised for which I was NOT going to wait another 5 days to wait for.

Many of the Las Vegas Hookers were at Borders that night where we tried to pass our O.W.L's in Harry Potter knowledge ( I received a W, for which I failed to live up to Hermione's academic excellence... /cry) and knitted or crocheted for hours till the book was released and I had to go home empty handed, but had fun with friends and other Harry Potter fans.

Speaking of which I apparently had knitting groupies...lol. While I was knitting furiously away at my Gryffindor scarf there were a pair of teen girls standing across from me obsessed with watching my house scarf magically materialize.....ok not as magically as Hermione's knitting elf hats but defiantly more stylish than Mrs. Weasley's questionable and oft made fun of knitted jumpers. If they could only have seen the finished product!

*****Warning****** Do not read below this line if you have not finished the 7th book.


Now if you have been living under a rock and are the last people on earth to not know what happened at the end of book seven....Don't read any more....run screaming to your unfinished book and READ...because the following will spoil it for you!


Going into book 7 I knew some people would die but here was my wish list that I hoped would happen in the book before I even set eyes on it:

1.) That Ron and Hermione would get over fighting (for the love of God!) and get to snogging like everyone else on earth wanted them to do and to quit acting like they didn't like each other....news flash....We all knew you wanted to jump each other from the first book...why it took you seven years to figure it out......!

2.) That Harry would marry Ginny! I'm a hopeless romantic and wanted Harry to be happy after all the loss in his life. They made a cute couple!

3.) That someone would please cap that *expletive deleted* Bellatrix!

4.) That Snape was a good guy and that he would somehow be redeemed for making me cry after he killed Dumbledore!

5.) And last but not least that Harry would live and He Who Must Not Be Named would burn for all eternity.


I got everything I wanted! But sadly some nice characters had to die along the way....The Lupin's, poor Hedwig, Doby (If I have ever hated a fictional character more it would be Bellatrix for murdering Doby!), Mad Eye, countless Hogwarts students and so on.

I was happy that Hermione snogged Ron, because lets face it Ron would never had had the guts to do it and we all know now and well lets face it from book one that Hermione had always worn the pants in that relationship...lol. Ron needs a strong woman and he got one, if for nothing else but to kill spiders for him... /rolls eyes.

I was happy that Harry and Ginny got married. It was a perfect ending for me =).

I have to give Mrs. Weasley huge props for killing Bellatrix, who knew the questionable knitter and forever magic using, for almost exclusively cooking, was a deadly skilled spell caster. Never mess with a mom!

I knew Snape was a good guy, he just didn't know how to show it. Cheers for the best double agent ever in lit!

I wish He Who Must Not Be Named would have suffered more, but then that is not Harry's style. Well let's just hope he stays dead and does not try and make trouble for Harry, Ginny's, Ron's and Hermione's kids. Voldermort makes a good corpse!

/cry no more Harry Potter books.....

I moved! Got my Internet Back!

You all know that I moved from Las Vegas last week, I was so sad to go, I had withdrawals all day today wanting to go to crochet group today! I miss everyone so much!

It is so beautiful here, green trees and hills, cows and sheep, and quiet! Except the nightmare of my house with hundreds of unpacked boxes, half unpacked boxes and wishing it would all just go away!

Poor Bubby, he was ok most of the trip except for the part where he tried to strangle himself in Arizona as I was driving through a gorge with no place to stop....so the experiment with not putting him in a cat carrier ended with him in the cat carrier for the rest of the trip. But he didn't really meow much and I had the top of the carrier open so I could pet him most of the trip so he was as happy as being in a cat carrier, sitting on a stinky towel with a/c blowing in your face as he could be. When we got here OMG did he stink! So after two days in the truck he was dumped in the bathtub and drowned with water and soap, he was soooooo happy....not, my mom said he sounded like I was trying to murder him he was meowing so loud and pitiful.

After packing up and now unpacking my things I have learned several things, most of my worldly belongings consist of art supplies, computer equipment, and miniature bottles of perfume. I have no idea why it was completely necessary for me to pack and hold onto a note book with like 5 pages left in it, and why the cable gremlin stole my power supply cord to my external hard drive and heat sink for my laptop! How can I have lost it, it was in my room, I packed my room, there is nothing left in my room and it is now no where in any boxes now moved..../sigh. Oh and if I have to eat out one more time I'm going to yack....living on restaurant food is just gut rot and why can't Stop and Rob's make soda cups that fit into car drink holders?

Knitting Nightmare...

So as my friends know I'm knitting a Harry Potter scarf, Gryffindor of course =) As it happens Gryffindor colors are Maroon and Gold, the same as my High School colors! Last night I was knitting away for a few hours watching T.V. and and obviously staring at the scarf and colors. So I go to bed and apparently my scarfs colors triggered some deep repressed Freudian reaction in my unconscious psyche because I had a dream I was back in High School...and it was not a great period of fun in my life. See, like now I was a nerd, habits die hard I guess and well as you all know shy, nice nerds walk around with a "Torture Me Please!" sign tattooed on our foreheads. As you can guess I not exactly super athletic as I have two left feet and I'm a walking accident waiting to kill myself, so Gym class was not a great class for me. This one girl, I can't remember her name, was like a moth to my candle, she zoned in on me for easy pickings in the locker room every day for the sad boost in her own ego at the expense my mine (by the way I completely shamed her in front of all her friends one day in the locker room so bad she left me alone for the rest of my high school existance, I'm nice but I have a tolerance limit and it's not pretty if you cross it =) . Any way I dreamed she stole all my clothes and made me walk naked around school all day, everyone staring and giggling at me. What is worse is that this guy I had a major crush on at the time (he turned out by the way to be a dork, seemed he liked me too but as his obnoxious friends hated me because I would not put up with their annoying stunts, he could not ask me out because apparently he had no spine or self determination...thank you for leaving me alone =) ), kept throwing tooth picks at me dipped in glue, (like his furry little friends did to me in real life). Ok, that was way too much a flash back. I woke up thinking wow where in the world did this come from till it dawned on me I was staring at my High School colors all night, duh....

Why can't I have a dream I'm naked and .... (Censor, must remember to keep inner monologue private....) =)

Harry Potter Fan Club (the adults who don't like to admit they belong)

Up until very recently I really didn't understand just how many adults really like the Harry Potter books and movie. I have been given contemptuous looks by many other adults who when they find out I read the books or like the movies look at me like I'm some kind of immature child, not that I really cared for their opinion anyway. Yes I might be 30+ =P but who says you have to stop liking kids stuff anyway? My friends who know me well know I love SpongeBob and Animaniacs. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, GOT IT? =P

The movie version of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix just came out. I didn't go opening night but waited till the middle of the day the next day. I had resigned myself to the fact that there would be hoards of screaming kids and packs of annoying teenagers in the theater but went anyway. So I get my ticket and my Pepsi and popcorn and go to the theater. What I saw shocked me. The theater was pretty packed with only a few seats left....and there was not one kid or teenager to be found. The entire theater was full of adults! So, after seeing this I must assume this was not a freak happening. Sadly, I think there are more adult Harry Potter fans who don't like to admit that they are. Adults are so stupid sometimes....

Oh and I have a confession to make to all my friends...please don't hit me when you find out... Yes I was in LA the day the movie premiered and I was in LA when the cast put their hand and wand prints into the cement on the walk of fame...I just didn't know it lol. Not that I would have gone down there with thousands of nutty fans mind you but I have a friend or two who after reading this will have a melt down....lol.

Knit snobs and the crocheters who like to provoke them

I'm in LA over the weekend and I'm so excited to be in a new geographical location with new yarn stores to drool in and make inappropriate yarn purchases. Little did I know that there is some kind of unwritten and unpublished yarn law in LA that states you cannot run a yarn store on Sunday or Monday, or it could be that I'm now so indoctrinated into the 24 hour Vegas life style that I fail to realized that stores in other parts of the world actually close and have business hours. Out of a list of about 24 yarn and bead stores in the surrounding area of my hotel ...only one was open on Sunday or Monday. I will spare the reader the name of the store but as most crocheters know the proprietors of small business yarn stores tend to be Knit Snobs...and I was not disappointed. As I approached the doors to enter I resolved myself to take the high road and openly and proudly proclaim my status as a crocheter, and not be ashamed of my hook. The proprietors welcomed me warmly because as we all know most yarn shops struggle with sales when faced with internet competition but know they have an edge because of fiber freaks affinity to first fondle the yarn they want to buy. They asked me if they could help me and what it was I was thinking of making. At this point I took the low road and decided to test their tolerance and loudly proclaimed I was looking for some really nice and expensive yarn to make granny squares out of you know in...CROCHET...Oh the look of horror that past over their faces...ROFL. I have never before beheld my power at rendering others speechless, it was pretty funny. I had visions that they were pressing some silent alarm, in utter panic, under the cash register that was making a wild and loud alarm some place deep inside world knitting headquarters. But nobody came and locked me in a room and forced me to watch knitting instructions 24/7 for a week so I assumed my cash was ok with them and continued shopping. Neither one of them said a word to me for a long while, they just kept staring at me like a six legged goat every where I went and I was having fun at their expense.

I decided I was having enough fun at provoking knitters so I asked them about they yarn I really came in to buy, some Harry Potter colors for a house scarf I wanted to KNIT. I saw all the joy return to their faces and they helpfully pointed out some nice colors for me in the fiber I was looking for. I then thought they were going to die of happiness when I asked for some self stripping yarn because I wanted to learn how to knit socks.

Knitters are so funny....its so fun to provoke them....lol. I'm a bad girl I know but oh well, when have I behaved in the past?

=P

Happy Divorce To Me

This is a little late to post but I was granted my divorce on the 3rd of July! "...everybody dance now...." So on the morning of the 3rd I was in the bathroom and it dawned on me I officially got to join the family "club" that day....yes I have followed in a hallowed family tradition of broken marriages. What the heck was wrong with me up till now, can't tell you. Seems everyone else in my family has known to kick the spouse to the curb when things didn't work out, I apparently was naive in thinking that I could some how invoke a miracle and make a Prince out of a Horses Ass. Ok so there was a time I did love X but you know that seems to have magically disappeared when he thought to dip his wick in other places or the other assorted charming behaviors he indulged himself in over the years that made me cry on a daily basis. Oh and to make things even more special I shared a court room with a man who was getting divorced and guess what his name was...yep the same as X's /Sigh. You know I'm so excited to get a default divorce and lucky enough that the afore mentioned parasite did not have to be in the room but then someone else with his name was there and ....ewwwwww. If some poor guy in the future asks me out and has the misfortune to have X's name he will just have to deal with being called Steve or something because just hearing X's name now fills me with the creeps /sigh.

I did find one thing amusing, as I was leaving the courthouse some guy had written all over his car...."JUST DIVORCED" like they do to cars when you get married. It also had references to "bitch" and other colorful four letter words on the window but I just interchanged them with "bastard" and all was good in my mind. I'm kidding...really, I just understood the elation of getting rid of someone from your life who's main drive was to make you cry and think up of new and inventive ways to hurt you.

So your thinking, wow she really does not like X....ummmm yeah and? I don't hate him...really I feel nothing, taken me a while but nope (really not angry at him, I know some how some place Karma will take care of him for me =) ). Didn't cry at the divorce proceeding (except when I was asking the judge for protective measures, and for damn good reasons) was not upset, was pretty proud of myself that he does not upset me anymore and I feel good about moving on and meeting NICE men. All this does not mean I like him or anything just find it amusing to berate his memory, reminds me of what I don't like in men so maybe next time I pick someone a heck of a lot nicer, someone who deserves me, knows how to treat me with respect =) I know guys like that are out there, just have to find them =) and I'm ready to move on.

To My Dear Bitch Arily

Instillation art by Dan Flavin at the LA art museum entitled "To My Dear Bitch Arily."

I went on a little mini vacation this past weekend to LA to go to a friends wedding and have some fun. The wedding was pretty and tasteful and optimistic that the two in question will be happy, at least till what married really means and they look at each over corn flakes in the morning and argue about leaving the toilet seat up or down for the 500th time.

After the wedding my mom and I hit the town for a few days to have fun, and one of the places we went was downtown to the museum complex. In one building, many of Dan Flavin's art pieces were displayed, which is all modern and have to say not eyebrow raising. Flavin's art comprises of light bulbs and florecent light tubes....lol. I love art and I'm very open minded but I'm not a huge fan of Modern Art and found his pieces more amusing for their titles than their supposed artistic merit. The instillation above is entitled "To My Dear Bitch Arily." At the time when we were walking around I found this highly amusing considering most of his work is entitled "untitled." Ok I understand coming up with a title for for light bulbs coming out of the wall is to say the least challenging but come on it does not take that much effort to come up with something to call it. Seriously, the instillation was like three floors of light bulbs...my mom and I were scratching our heads thinking what the hell is this...how is this art and how and why does it merit three entire floors of a building? I was glad that was not the only building our entry fee got us into, at least in the other buildings I got to see a bunch of Rembrants, Monets, Renoir, ect...that is what I call art!

So back to the Bitch Arily....Having no idea what the artist was about or his work I just assumed some woman broke his heart and he was miffed at her for making him 'blue' and titled the work accordingly. What an idiot I was! It was only till I got home did I find out in a Google search that he was very fond of his female Golden Retriever when he was alive. I'm not quite sure how a hall with blue light tubes inspired him to think about a tribute to his dog but then I was inspired to knit my cat a scarf so who am I to talk =P

I think I will cover a wad of ABC gum with lint and title it "I love you," I'm sure I can score a floor with that in some museum.....but I might have to die tragic before my genius is discovered...so if you ever see my gum next time you go to a museum you can say..."I knew Jamie in her early art years..." =P

So.....do you want to come have a drink with me?

I have been sitting here for the last hour trying to figure out why I have been crying. Is it A.) The fact some guy here in town for a convention sent me a blind tell on Yahoo IM asking me out on a date after about 30 second talking to me, that he wanted to meet me at the Coyote Ugly bar at New York New York for what I assume was some drinking and free sex on his night away from what ever boring town and clueless wife he left back in another state. B.) The fact that he is the only man to ask me out in the three years since I left my ex (trust me the reasons would take a PHD dissertation to explain his loony ass). C.) That no guy has even looked at me in three years. D.) That I’m so freaking lonely that I actually thought for a second about answering “yes” and spending time with some man who really didn’t like me or know me, even though I would have said “hell no” if asked to go back to his hotel room.

My friends who read this will understand what a horrible mess my life has been for the past six years, and what my soon to be ex husband did to me. To be honest I have never told anyone all of what he did to me and never will because talking about it would mean I would have to think about it and I don’t want to relive those moments ever again for as long as I live. Despite all the crap he did and for all my joking at men bashing I can’t bring myself to really hate men. Trust me my ex really tried hard to do it but, NO, I really don't. Sure there have been times in the recent past that all I felt was pure disgust at being near a man, but that has not happened, thankfully, in a really long time. I know that not all men are like my ex, just seems like it. I do know there are funny and nice guys out there, I just don’t seem to live by them =(.

This past hour as my eyes got all red and puffy I kept thinking about this elderly man who came through my line at the bookstore one day. I was ringing up his books and noticed he had on one of those WWII hats that a lot of old Vets wear from the groups they belong to that help them stay in touch with old war friends. We got to talking about it when he said, “Oh I met my beautiful wife in the War, she was a nurse you see and I had been wounded. I was at the hospital and she walked up to my bed, she was and still is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life.” At this point his wife came walking up, both were pushing 80 years old or more, and he goes on saying as he picked up his wife’s hand and kissed it, “I fell madly in love with her the second I saw her, never have ever looked at another woman again, I was only 19 or so at the time and we were married only a few weeks later, and this is her,” he kissed her hand again, “my lovely bride.” The way he touched her hand, the way he looked at her and spoke to her, you could tell he was not lying, he loved her with his whole heart, loved her this way for the past 50+ years. I was blown away that he would talk like this about her to a perfect stranger, that he would tell the world how much he loved her, that he would treat her with such obvious respect, kindness and love. When he left I told my manger I needed a bathroom break and went in the bathroom stall and cried a few minutes, don't think I have to tell you why.

I know how Cinderella lame it sounds but just don’t know why I can’t have that. Don’t understand why a nice guy can’t even tell I’m even breathing. Why am I a jerk magnet when and if a guy even looks at me or then thinks it’s ok to treat me like a whore because so many other women don’t have any self pride that they will sleep with any guy who buys them a drink and paid attention to them? My ex used to call me frigid all the time because I would not act like some stupid nympho bimbo from the T.V. show, “The Girls Next Door.” He never once understood that the only thing a woman really wants is to be respected. Because that is the true definition of love. Love = only three things: Respect, Trust and Empathy. If you don't have all three then what do you have...nothing. All love is based in these three things, from your friendships, your family or the only other person in your life you want to have corn flakes and leftovers with for the rest of your life.

I want so badly to leave this place, despite having a lot of really good friends, I want to go someplace where women are not treated like pieces of meat! Everywhere you go in this damn town women’s asses are hanging off billboards, on the backs of taxi cabs, the strip is littered with ad’s for hookers and the telephone book has like a three inch section for “escorts” which is a PC word for whore. The whole town motto is "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." You know I like sex just as much as everyone else in the world but that guy on IM made me feel so worthless and dirty. I know people can't make you feel anything, either you let them get to you and let them make you feel like that or you don't, but...I'm so tired of empty men.

Sex, Sex, Sex...

Now that I have your complete attention it was mentioned last night at my weekly crochet meeting of the Las Vegas Hookers (yes... it's a double entendre) that when ever you get a group of women together the conversation turns to sex, sex, sex. Not that I don't mind the subject matter I just find it funny that most men think women don't think about sex, sex, sex or don't think about it often. If your a guy who thinks this...get a clue Nancy Drew! If only they could hear the conversations we have about them when they are not there...lol. I have noticed over the past half year of my membership to the weekly stitch and bitch that the #1 subject matter aside from fiber (that's yarn talk to those of you who don't knit or crochet, and not what you need to keep in your diet to be regular) is men, sex, men bashing, sex and discussions about female issues which winds it's way back to sex and men. Apparently women hide their obsession with sex better than men (we just obviously keep you in the dark, as it should be to keep you guessing). We don't drool all over ourselves when we see a hot guy walk by, well that is if we are with a guy we like, we obviously can hide our sexual arousal better in public and we don't have to go to strip clubs to look at nasty crack whores with boobs that would be useful in the event she needed them to prevent herself from drowning, to have a little sexual fun (that's what a membership to Costco is for to buy batteries in bulk =P ). Which is a whole other topic of why men are so proud about masturbation and women hide their compliant and mute boyfriends in the bottom of the knicker drawer...but I digress.

By now most of you who know me are going where the (expletive deleted) did this post come from...to be honest I don't know...ROFL. But then anyone who really knows me knows what a big mouth I really have and that my inner monologue tends to spill out of my mouth, aloud...a lot. I just found the topic came up in the meeting last night and thought it was funny. While most of my friends and I end up talking a lot about sex its never raunchy, explicit or tell all. I think it is rather sad in the end that most women cannot talk as openly, frankly or freely about the subject in public or with the one man in our life that means the most. If you can that great but I know a lot of women who can't, and why I guess we like to get together and giggle about it with each other.

I know I'm going to miss the weekly giggle sessions when I have to move in a few weeks. I hope I can find a group of women to hang out with as nice, funny and cool as the ladies I hang out with every Tuesday here. Especially ones who like to stitch, bitch and talk about sex, sex, sex...../cry I will miss you guys =(.

Meines kuschelt kleines Häschen

I can't help it, he is so damn cute! His hair is starting to grow back from his Lion Cut and I don't know what I will do to keep it short from now on. I'm thinking of going to the store and buying some pet clippers....oh yeah....if he didn't like me running after him to clean his bum bum with a wet washcloth when it was a matted mess of cat poo I'm sure he is just going to love mommy trying to clip the hair around his bum bum with a pair of electric clippers...not (considering last time my mother tried to clip him with an electric shaver and accidentally got way too near his manhood....ROFL the look he gave her was pure murder...seems boys of all species are rather attached to their penises....). It's either that or have to pay$70 every two months to keep his hair short at the groomers.../sigh. If he would just learn to clean his private area on his own and keep me from having to call him "Smelly Cat" I would not have run after him like a two year old in potty training. But I love the little Goober so oh well....

WANTED! This is a Public Service Announcement....

(Picture above: Squiddy "The Klepto," suspect is eyeing and sizing up her chances of stealing yarn she knows is hidden within the owners yarn tote.)

This is a Public Service Announcement.....The picture of the above cat is a notorious yarn thief. Under no circumstances should you leave yarn or any yarn project out in her presence. She will steal yarn and project brazenly out in the open to chew, drag across the house and kneed as her personal binky. Be warned that any project under construction will be frogged (note frogging is a crochet term for ripping out what you don't like or getting rid of mistakes or in this case a free for all at ripping out every stitch in the project in an attempt to get away with they yarn to slobber all over it and make me mad....)immediately upon kidnapping as her usual MO consists of wrapping the project around a table leg to secure the yarn and make a dash across the length of the house as she proceeds into a running frog fest of kitty delight. Suspect has a keen awareness for containers (like the above rolling bag) you may think of thwarting her attempts at kleptomania. Be warned she is adept and patient in pawing through tiny openings and will pace around any object in an OCD like manner she suspects holds kitty fiber pleasure. Suspect, will like any junky, will become violent if you attempt to confiscate from her the object of her desire and addiction.

Suspect answers to the name of Squiddy, be warned she has potentially violent psychotic episodes and may chase you hissing, if you a. don't give her your yarn, b. scold her for attempted robbery, c. confiscate what she has stolen.

Serephina Shawl

This is my first ever finished project following a pattern! I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself despite the fact I was completely clueless for most of the project, bugged the (expletive deleted) out of the poor women at my crochet group to help me with it (you all have the patience of saints and I could not have done it with out all your wonderful help) and cussed at times like a sailor when I thought I would never get the hang of it. I'm not exactly sure if it 100% of the time followed the pattern but if not I was consistent in messing up, and there are no glaring mistakes or holes in the wrong place so I'm happy and don't really care if it has mistakes...it turned out beautiful in my opinion and can't wait to wear it this fall/winter. I crocheted this with Lion Brand Homespun in Quartz, three skeins worth. I was not to amused with Lion Brand because the first two skeins I bought of the Quartz were the same color and then I bought another skein two weeks later and the purple of the first two was now bluish in the third....oh well still looks good but not really amused with the sudden color change. I have been buying a lot of Lion Brand lately don't know why....the Homespun was a bit hard to get used to in the beginning as it would get caught but it was not that bad and I will use it again. The pattern called for an I hook but this was way too small and ended up with using a k hook to get the right gauge and feel for the weight of the yarn and look of the shawl.

Granny Square Baby Blanket

This is a Granny square blanket I finished last week for a lady I work for. She found out she is having a little boy so I thought this would be cute and quick. The blanket was crocheted in Lion Brand Jiffy in White, Pastel Yellow and Baby Blue. Don't remember how many skeins I used...oh well...lol.

Very Miffed

Well after all the trouble myself, my mother and other members of the staff, at the school were I work, went threw to get the dress all pretty for the little girl in my class for her graduation, she didn't come. I was very disappointed to say the least. Her family didn't take her to her own graduation...I know it was the thought that mattered but still really hurts when you go through with all the trouble to help people and then nothing. I have no idea what goes in her family dynamic but just sucks when you try so hard to help others and it does not make a damn bit of difference at all. It would have meant the world to her self esteem to come to the graduation all pretty like all the rest of the girls in school. Oh well....just makes me really angry when others don't care as much as you do or think things are as important.

Pretty dress for a special little girl

I work as a special education teachers assistant in a classroom for mentally and physically handicapped middle school kids. Most of the kids in my class are pretty poor and don't have the resources for proper clothing. One of the teachers at the school runs a clothes closet that collects clothes and gives them out to the kids when they need them or come to school in clothes that are just not acceptable or functional. One of the little girls in my class is graduating to high school and she and her family do not have the means at all for her to get a nice dress for the occasion. A dress for her was found in the clothes closet but it didn't fit her properly nor was it very clean as it had a lot of stains. I took the dress home and with the help of my mother we cleaned it up, took up the hem a few inches and made it fit all around better for her to wear. I went to JoAnn's and bought some pretty rose ribbon trim and sewed it on some places. I also made her some jewelry and accessories to make the outfit complete so she will look very nice for her special night. I wish I could post pictures of her in the dress but I don't think that would be proper so I just have some of the finished dress and accessories. We also bought her a little white jacket to go over the dress as the thin straps are not "dress code," and also put a few pretty roses around it for trim to match.

Jewlery Class fun

Today I took a jewelry class at one of the local bead shops and it was a lot of fun. I made a garden inspired necklace that I think turned out pretty nice if i do say so myself. Looks really pretty on me as well, now I just have to figure out how much I can either sell it for or what dress I will buy now to match it, think it will be the latter choice =). Took a long time to make, almost five hours of straight work but I think it looks really cool. There was really no instructions to follow just the basic idea of how to weave the beads together. I made up the design as I went along, and think now that I have the idea how to make them will make a few more to keep for the day I open my business.

Swimming to the Light

Well today we put Tourky out of his misery, or most likely put Tourky out of our misery. Tourky was a beautiful blue Beta fish that more than likely lived longer than he should have. About two months ago he developed this weird spot on his side that quickly became a horrible infection. There was really noting we could do for him and he seemed to be doing fine till about a month ago when he could not swim any more nor keep himself up right. He has been floating sideways for over a month now and every day we tap the glass to see if he was still alive or not. Well today he looked worse than usual and it's been torture for us to look at him. We thought about doing the "humane thing" weeks ago but could not bring ourselves to do it. I mean if your cat or dog was really, really sick you would take them to the vet to be put down where there was no hope, so today we gave Tourky his opportunity to swim to the Light and at least make us feel better about not watching him float and gasp for life anymore. Feel bad about helping him but I do believe that all creatures feel some kind of pain or discomfort so think it was best to help him let go.

R.I.P. Tourky.... hope you find a bigger bowl to swim around in when you get to fishy heaven.

Oh my....

Hi!

Hi to all my friends who will be reading this, as those of you who know me I'm super busy so I don't think I will posting here daily but will try to keep the site up to date. Mostly I wanted to start a blog for my friends who I may not get to talk to very often or see on a regular basis to know what I'm up to. As a disclaimer, my English grammar sucks and my spelling is even worse so if you see a few faux pas in my posts don't be overly shocked, I won't be =P. I will be posting here the progress on my many hobby projects and hope to add pictures of finished pieces.

For those of you who don't know I belong to a group of super funny ladies who meet every Tuesday night in a bar here in Las Vegas to crochet and socialize, we call ourselves the "Las Vegas Hookers." We have a lot of fun together and I just got home tonight from our group and I'm super proud of myself that I was actually reading a pattern and able to crochet, which for the past oh 20+ years I have not been able to do with crochet. My Grandma taught me, along with my sixth grade teacher Miss. Longo, how to crochet but I have never learned to read a pattern with much success. I just want to say thank you to Mindy and Angie and everyone else who has shown me a lot of patience while I ask a million questions on pattern reading. I'm not done yet with the pattern I'm working on, Seraphina Shawl, but I have progressed now beyond having to ask questions every two minuets about what the (expletive deleted) I'm supposed to be doing.

Aside from crafting, which I have little time to do, as most of you who know me already know I have three jobs and go to school, so I'm a little tired all the time. My main job with the school district will be ending soon in June so will just have two jobs after the 7th. I have been working hard to lose a few lbs and that has been going well. I have not been able to get to the gym much (lol I typed guy instead of gym before I corrected it....must be some sort of Freudian slip =P) but I really need to start going as I still want to lose a few more lbs to be happy with myself again. I have other altered motives for losing some of me but then don't we all when we want to look just a little bit better.

Just as an update, The Parasite is still in my life. /cry....... can't seem to get rid of him no matter how hard I try but this can't go on forever so hopefully soon he will be GONE. After this is done and over I so feel like I should go out and party......I think I deserve too either that or get a medal for putting up with his (expletive deleted) for so long! Everyone needs to come to Vegas for a Divorce Party when it's official!!!

My little man needs to go to the vet, as most of you know Sir Feedsalot was sent to the vet for a Lion Cut because he has trouble cleaning himself properly and I was tried of running after him with a wash cloth to clean what he would not or could not. The poor little guy lost his dignity when he got shaved down and was not too excited about his new hair cut for a while but I do think he feels cooler with the 500 lbs of hair he was lugging around gone. While he was at the vet they found a lump near his shoulder blade that they want to put him out and remove and then biopsy. I really don't have the money for the procedure but I can't not do it for my little Goober so in he will go soon. I so hope that it's nothing and I don't have to worry that he has Cancer or something else. =( he is getting older, he is around 11 years old now so things are bound to start happening that he is getting older.

When I'm more awake and can figure out how to post pictures I will post one of Smokey to this blog.