Thursday, March 6, 2008

I don't know if I am getting better

I have called off work for the past two days, but getting better seems to come and go. One minute I feel better and the next I get a fever again, or my throat feels better and the next I have a severe sore throat again =(. Thinking of calling off again as I'm so exhausted, just going up the stairs leaves me dizzy and light headed and I can't sleep to save my life. The stuff they gave me makes me really drunk like but I can't sleep, I just lie there and the room spins.

Oh my teacher can knit she was knitting socks at the meeting! She was knitting this really UGLY huge socks in plain stitch for her grandkids for Christmas Stockings out of Red Heart...they were purple and green stripped..looked like a Whoville sock from the Grinch Who Stole Christmas! And she was knitting on DPN's! She was annoyed with one: I was knitting English which for some reason really chapped her hide, two she kept making snide remarks because I refused to buy metal knitting needles, either for my straight needles or my dpn's, for some reason she thinks that bamboo is "amateur," and real knitters, "knit with metal" and would go on and on and on about how "expensive" bamboo is and how I was wasting my money, and three she kept making snide remarks about how slow I knit, Who the F cares!

She was a real *expletive deleted* if you ask me. She was very nice to everyone else except me, for some reason I can't explain. Might be she found out I was from California but the other young girl there was from Cali too and she was nice to her so I don't know. She would go on and on and on about how evil Bozeman and Missoula are (high concentrations of ex-Californians in towns about 100 miles east and west of here, FYI people here think most Californians are the I guess because of how much I stated I liked the two most people here are well....."sheltered". Most hardly ever leave the city, for any reason and think this place is the center of the universe and anything outside it they think is foreign and's very sad how most people here have a very narrow view of the world, which makes a person like me who has been all over the world and very broad minded seem evil....ROFL.

What it came down to I think is that she had a very high opinion about herself and what she thought she knew about fiber and knitting but in application sucked as a teacher and tried to cover it up with more self important air than she really possessed. She was annoyed because I didn't think she was so impressive as all the other students did as they fawned over her..... you know me and you know she didn't get any of that from moi =P.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

I have been very, very sick.

I got sick last week and didn't think it would be too bad but like last year when I got sick it went into my chest last weekend and on Sunday I ended up in the hospital. Like an idiot I was working all last week and not taking it easy so by the time I got off work at midnight Sunday night I could not hardly breathe so I went to the emergency room. I can't take over the counter cold medicine like NyQuil anymore. They must have changed the formula because now when I take it, it does nothing than make me higher than a kite and hallucinate. I spend all night thinking there is dirt on my face and flowers are growing out of it..../sigh....last Friday night was not fun. On one hand if I was a druggie that might be a + seeing as how I could get high legally, but it's not my bag.

So I was coughing so bad there was some tiny spots of blood coming up and I was passing out so I had to take something so they gave me teaspoon of some medicine at the emergency room...holy crap that is some powerful stuff, and they gave me a prescription for the stuff to take at home. It is called Promethazine/Codeine. Apparently I have a much stronger reaction to it than everyone else because the nurse gave it to me and came back into the room like 15 minutes latter because I had to take a chest x-ray and my eyes were all glazed over, every time I went to put the kleenex to my nose I hit the side of my head and I could not stand mom was calling me "Drunk Girl". The nurse looked at me then at my mom and said, "I hope to God your the one driving home, I have never seen anyone get that way from this stuff." She then laughed and said, "I can tell you don't drink." And my mom replied, "yea, she is a cheap date, one teaspoon of cough syrup and she is drooling."

I looked up the med on the internet today and come to find out it is most abused by Southern Hip-Hop people and it is called, "Purple Drank," pronounced.... draaaaank. Apparently there are many, many hip hop songs about "Syrup" one of its many other Now my mom is giving me rash of crap about being a gangster I don't know how people can abuse it, I can't stand it the way it makes me feel, I only take it because it stops me from coughing my lungs out.

I'm feeling much better today, thanks in part because I slept from 6am to about 4:30 this afternoon....I'm still tired and going up the stairs to get water makes me have to sit on a chair in the kitchen for 5 minutes before I can do anything but another day of sleeping should make be better still.

I quit my knitting class

Last Tuesday was the last straw for me in putting up with my knitting teacher!

She refused to show me how to use dpn's though she showed someone else. She butted in on my knitting and counting and made me lose my place and when I asked her to help me find it she tinked out 60 stitches. I was so pissed. Needless to say I wont be back for the last three classes, what a monumental waste of money that class was! I'm just going to have to see if I can pay the nice lady in Bozeman at the Knit shop to help me one day with my sock! My knitting teacher was like why are you knitting a sock, that is stupid, why would you knit socks. I was like ummmm well lets see, every time I do a new project in knitting I do something different to learn some new techniques....guess that is stupid in your frame of mine but not mine. I guess it's hard to remember after 60+ years of knitting that new knitters actually need to learn.../rolls eyes.

Anyway I tinked my scarf again. It was too tight and it was bugging me. /sigh so not getting anywhere with my knitting.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Cable Scarf take 6...../sigh

Well here is the cable scarf I have been working is just a simple cable but I'm proud of it =). Sort of hard to see the "cable" part but it is there.

The yarn is Patons Shetland Chunky in "High Plains Variegated." What you see done on the scarf now is almost an entire skein and measures about 20 inches so far. I think it is still a little tight but I'm leaving it as it is. I could not find larger needles here without sending away for them or driving 100+ miles to buy them so I just used what I had.

Really like it so far so I'm happy with my efforts. =)

Miss you all a lot.

Miracles Do Happen

Anyone who really knows me knows that I'm ummmm..."Numerically Challenged," which is a PC way to say, dumb as rocks in math. The highest grade in math that I have ever gotten is a C-....ever. Well as most of you know I had to take Introductory Algebra this last semester in the first of four math classes so I can graduate from College. I have put these math classes off till the absolute end because, frankly, I would rather have all my teeth pulled with no pain medication with a rusty pair of pliers out of the back of a back alley dentist's van than have anything to do with doing math in any shape or form. And if you didn't quite understand that...just to make it plain... I hate math with every fiber of my being.

I just got my grade back from my Fall Semester class......

I got a B!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm speechless. The day before I took the test my math tutor wanted to call 911 because I had a full blown panic attack in his office and honestly thought the outcome was not going to be a B when it was all said and done. The man deserves a medal for being the first person on the planet to explain math to me in some way that I apparently, mysteriously, absorbed and was able to pull a B out of la pass the class!

I think I deserve to buy myself some 100% silk yarn for this.... =). Now where to buy it from....(laughs evil). Don't you think? =) You know you should "reward" yourself....ha ha...

Friday, February 8, 2008

I got my invite!!!!! And a Holiday quandary.

I'm on Ravelry now, as you all know or should guess my user name is Strawbeary if you want to find me!

Ha ha, I haven't even looked around yet just wanted to post that I'm now on the site.

To Nobody, yes they can fire me at anytime in the first six months and they do not have to give me notice or tell me why. After six months I would have to nuke the building to qualify for

I'm looking for ideas for ideas for Valentine's Day. I have to work so I can't deliver it in person and he works late so don't want it delivered to his house. I have his mailing address though. I don't want to do anything psycho but I don't want to ignore the opportunity either. I have some ideas but.... he likes dark chocolate so I got him some but then I'm in a quandary about a card. I don't want anything kissy or psycho....but can't really find a good card at a shop anywhere. Ha ha my friend suggested I get one of those kids Valentines they pass out in class and put one on the chocolates to be silly and cute, but I don't know. She is trying to convince me to make a coupon for a "Free Kiss" when ever he wants to redeem it but I think that is kind of psycho. Thoughts?

Thursday, February 7, 2008

The cable scarf was tinked

Well not exactly tinked, more like ripped out eagerly. It was nice but it was too tight and somehow I ended up with an extra stitch, I tried to tink it nicely but it was a mess so I ripped it out, then I got about a good three inches again and messed up and tried to tink and it ended very badly. I think I need to get bigger needles than I'm using to keep it loose, but I don't know. So I will try with attempt number six tomorrow because knitting when you are tired is not a good idea.....ends very badly.

My state job is ok but I keep having ideas of putting in elsewhere. I have never worked somewhere where people gossip, back stab and manipulate as much as goes on there. It is exhausting. I'm three months into my six month probation and it is giving me headaches. I wish I could have stayed in Vegas at the school district. =( I loved those kids to death and felt like I was making a difference, here all I worry about is office politics and how I will survive another three months till I get to know if I get to stay or not. Well at any rate I will be putting in for another state job close to my probation period being up and see what drama that produces, because I can't leave my self open for not having a way to pay my bills. You really don't get any notice there either, I have seen it happen, you go in one day not expecting anything, you are made to read a letter telling you that you are fired and given no reason...out of the blue.

I took my final exam in Algebra last weekend and have no clue if I will pass the class. I didn't do so well on the final so that is eating a whole in my stomach as well. I wish I had an outlet but have had to work over time so much I can't even go to my knitting class I paid for.

Stress, stress, no wonder I keep messing up in my knitting, have way too much on my mind!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


No I'm not on Ravelry....maybe in like four months or so....ha ha just kidding. Who knows...this is the latest update..

  • You signed up on January 30, 2008
  • You are #97480 on the list.
  • 1989 people are ahead of you in line.
  • 5118 people are behind you in line.
  • 92% of the list has been invited so far
When I signed up there were like 4,000 people in front of me maybe by the time I finish the scarf =P.

Look mom, I'm cable knitting...

So the whole theory that I'm not bright enough to go from not knowing how to flat knit at all to learning to flat knit and do cables at the same time has been thrown out of the window. My knitting teacher scoffed at the idea that I could learn how to cable knit with out knowing how to flat knit...well I have proved her wrong. I'm currently working on a cable knit scarf and, /gasp....I can cable. Cable knitting is not that hard apparently, as I pretty much self taught myself, and we all know how dense I can be. My camera is oob (out of batteries) at the moment or I would post the progress I have made so far. I even figured out that the instructions were wrong on how to do the pattern! The pattern called for multiples of six, well if you do that you have an extra three stitches left over when you should have none, should have been multiples of six + 3, I'm so I'm starting to understand that knitting is a lot easier than crochet, well only for the fact you have only two stitches (knit and purl) instead of all the other that crochet has but then crochet is hell of a lot easier to fix your mistakes.

I had date number four and still the same but I think I like him better for it, being a gentleman is defiantly more preferable than not. I told him it was kind of hard to read him and he was sorry, he said he is cautious because he has been burned way too much in the past and is still trying to figure out if I pass the not a black widow, lying, manipulative, gold digging bitch Ouch, but apparently I'm passing so things are looking up...hehe. You should all just tell him all I think about is sex, sex, sex and he will say ..... "yes please..." lol. Just kidding, don't want to scare him away =). All my friends a work just die laughing at my "wholesome relationship." My friend Keith says all his friends are Man Whores and he is impressed there are actual people in the world who don't (expletive deleted) each others brains out on the first date... My friend Ashlie on the other hand is aghast, she says she just can't understand how that can happen because she says she cannot control herself. Apparently she thinks I have the self control of a saint...which is not the case, I'm not 23 and have endless time to screw up my personal life with meaningless sex....might be fun....but I want other things in life like kids... sort of precludes dating for no aim other than getting laid. Well I guess I could get kids out of that deal I'm not the sort of woman who wants to start sentences with, "Well, my babies daddy...." nor do I want to shack up with men who are paying money to various women he refers to as, "My babies mom....".

Has anyone been watching the "Complete Jane Austen" on PBS? I watched "Jane Austen Regrets" last night and was dying the production Jane Austen states, "Mr. Darcy does not exist, If you want a Mr. Darcy you must make him up..." priceless.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Dinner and a Movie

I had fun last night even if he still was a gentlemen, ha ha. Just kidding. He cooked me a nice dinner, which was very good =) and we watched one of his DVD's. His two cats are adorable and very sweet. He was very nice to me and was a gentlemen, so the wholesomeness of the dates continue but then I like him the better for it =). He is a very hard person to read sometimes so it is hard to know what he is thinking but then don't want anything pushed so just having fun. =)
He didn't try the yawn and stretch so was a little disappointed but oh well =) Part of me is sort of offended he didn't but...

Miss you guys!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Datum Nr. Zwei

It means "date" number two. Last Monday was date number two, Bowling and Mexican food. He drove out to my town and I took him to the exciting bowling ally. My purpose was this, even if the date would have been Homer Simpson's dream experience and not very romantic, I wanted to see if he could play a game and 1.) Not gloat that he won, 2.) Pout if he lost, 3.) Had to be competitive even though we were there just to have fun. I'm happy to report that he didn't do any of the three aforementioned sins, though I think he was a little embarrassed his score was a little low, but in a good way not in an arrogant I want to show off way. We bowled four games, he won the first three and by some divine intervention I managed to snag the fourth with a 48....ROFL, but in his defense his finger was starting to swell up and hurt as he could not find a ball with finger holes big enough for him and he really could not bowl well with a finger still stuck in ball when he let go of it....OUCH.
We then went down the street to a Mexican restaurant, not the best but then we don't have half a city of illegals working in our restaurants making great food like Vegas does (you know it's true.) He then drove me back to my house and I know he wanted to walk me to my door and kiss me but he didn't want to as the living room curtains were open and my mom was sitting there.....damn it! He was cute, he said, "well let m walk you to the door," then stopped...blushed and said, "maybe not your mom is there..., " it really was cute. I have to say he is a gentleman and yes he has treated me very nicely and I enjoy being around him.

I was talking to the girls at work and this is what I figured out about myself. I'm attracted to a certain type of guy, both in looks and behavior....which is not good. If you lined all the men I have ever been attracted to up they would all look very similar and would all act very similar as well. Very good looking and a real asshole to boot. /sigh why do I like this? I don't know. I think I like the confident charm and the rakish playboy attitude in the beginning because it is fun, and starts out with a little sexual thrill. But in the end I'm always sad and hurt because they are all pricks, I secretly knew this in the start but chose to ignore it because it would ruin the good time and hoping that stupid dream that a playboy can someday be a prince. I then end up berating myself about being a schmuck magnet when it was my poor judgment or blind judgment that got me in this mess in the first place. Especially hoping a horses ass would turn into an exciting (but kind) prince. Wrong.

I have been thinking really hard about why I fell so fast in love with X and got married to him. He had the confident charm and rakish aura I love, I just don't know why I didn't have the prick alert go off with him when he so glaringly was one. He was a master manipulator and charmer so maybe I was fooled or did I really really ignore it and still can't recall it about him when I was first with him and ...why? I'm very concerned about this because I really don't want to make the mistake twice. X was a perfect gentlemen till after we got married then became a prick on the wedding night when he pouted when he didn't get something he wanted, and made me feel like crap....

If I didn't spot it that time, how the hell will I spot it again if it is right under my nose and I can't see it?

So far Dave is a very nice guy and he is not anything like what I'm attracted to in the past. I don't have the fun butterflies I get when I see him like I always get with the usual asshole suspect but, I really enjoy his company and I'm not stressed out nervous with him wondering (how I'm going to explain I don't want to have sex but I hope you still want to date me even if your not going to get anything), like with just about all the other guys I have been out with....knowing when that speech is over I will get the, "your such a nice girl, and I don't think we should date anymore line. I'm usually worried when on a date about when the guy is going to make a move and grab my boob and kiss me, with Dave I KNOW he will not make a move to my mid section, but wishing he would kiss me I have a rule not to kiss on the first date but I have to say I was sort of, ok really, disappointed he didn't on the second.

I will be going on a third date with him this coming Monday and he sort of casually mentioned he would like me to come over to his house to cook me dinner and movies....I sense the /yawn and stretch out the arms move coming...hehe....what do you think? We shall see... =)

Friday, January 18, 2008

Learning a new position.... =)

All of you in Stripperland will be thinking with that title....omg she is finally having sex again! Ha

I signed up for an adult ed class that meets every Tuesday knitting and crochet back on Tuesdays....sad thing is it is not very fun, well when compared to the Cosmo swilling, sex fest I'm used to..../sigh....good times....

This class has about two girls my age and the rest of the class are women 70 and up and I mean UP. Which is ok as most of them have been knitting and crocheting for a real long time, it just makes for bad conversation when you want to talk about blogs (Crazy Aunt Purl) and such when most have not the slightest clue what a blog is. So my teacher is not what I hoped for either. She is nice, well that is a relative term I guess because the first time she tried to help me she really ticked me off! See, as you all know I can knit like nobody's business in the round but not so hot with the flat knitting. I picked out a pattern I wanted to do (a cable) and she looked at me like I was crazy to want to learn how to knit on a what....I know it's hard but why pick something easy. So I was casting on with crochet and she about had a heartattack, she said.... I was casting on wrong...ok so I let her show me another way which I learned very fast but could have done without the look of contempt when she saw my hook.... Then I was knitting and she freaked out and took my needles away from me stating in a very scathing and contemptuous tone, "we don't knit that way on this continent (English Style), this is the proper way to knit in this country (Continental Style). Anyone who knows me well enough knows what my mouth wanted to do at this moment....."Who died and made you the KNIT NAZI!?" Though this time I managed to keep that particular comment in my inner monologue though I do think that it was warranted, I was a good girl for once, but not entirely. I have been practicing the English Method all week so I can sweetly say to her when she freaks again, "Well I think knowing and practicing more than one position with a stick is more enjoyable than just one boring position, don't you think?" But then I'm sure it will fly right over her head.......ROFL. I'm sure she is a very nice lady but I miss the openness of the group in Vegas. Hell you could hold your knitting needle in your armpit if you wanted and nobody there would ever say anything there...../cry....ANGIE why can't you come here every Tuesday and teach our class..../cry.

I'm trying to be very patient but I'm not very tolerant with this class so needs some spice and loosing up. Maybe I should suggest the topic of discussion, "sex toys," and see where it goes....or ask for advice on the best means of obtaining the correct measurements for a penis cozy? What do you think? ...... God I miss the discussions in Vegas.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Scary underwear and new lipstick....

What do scary underwear that suck in your tummy and new lipstick mean? You guessed it, a date. It is official I had my first date in 10+ years New Years day. I signed up for E-Harmony the day I found out I had a court date for my divorce. In my first five "matches" I was sent one for a guy named Dave and started talking to him. We have been talking to each other since July of last year and last Monday we finally met. He is a really nice guy, and has a lot of good potential: 1. He has a college degree, 2.) He cooks himself food everyday that does not involve a microwave and he does not think of Hot Pockets, Dorritio's and Dr. Pepper as food groups, 3.) He has two cats he spoils rotten, 4.) He as the same twisted sense of humor I do (very scary actually...if you stop to think about it...), 5.) Was a complete gentlemen on our date.

I'm really not used to going out on a date with a guy who does not try and grab my boob, overly hint sex is expected or asks my opinion on what we should do or where we should eat. Though I was not surprised by his polite manners as I put the poor guy through a game of 400+ questions since July before we ever met, so I knew going in he was not a jerk, player or all the other assorted bad men we have all had the displeasure to go out with one time or another. He tolerated the "Jamie Inquisition" of pre-dating so the fact he asked me out again is a good sign I have not scared him away...ROFL.

It felt really good to be with a guy who was nice to me and respectful. I really felt great about myself after the date and feeling that way with a guy after all this time a previous garbage was wonderful!